i would punch a child for taco bell
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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