dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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