I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
