Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
