saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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