I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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