Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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