the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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