You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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