Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Randomize
