It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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