He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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