he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
