If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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