I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
