New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
