This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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