somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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