To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
