I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
i think my cat just said my name.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize