Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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