How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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