Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
