I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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