Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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