grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
