Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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