He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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