He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
