I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize