dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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