we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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