i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
