Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
