The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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