All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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