And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
high people should be assigned attendants
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm gonna fight the coyote
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
