OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
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Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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