Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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