Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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