yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
