So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
