she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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