ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
