my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
