oh god the rape fog is back!
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
