Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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