Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
