Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
