my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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