and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I will be naked everywhere
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
