he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
