So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
