Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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